Thesis: I believe that if we have the ability to save more human lives by collecting data through medical records we should be doing that rather than worrying about the medical records being stolen.
Sources:
Steve Lohr, The Age of Big Data, The New York Times, Newspaper article, 11 Feb. 2012.
Bernard Marr, How Big Data Is Changing Healthcare, Forbes, Journal Article, 15 Apr. 2015.
Junhua Zhang & Boli Zhang, Clinical research of traditional Chinese medicine in big data era, Frontiers of Medicine, Journal Article, Sep. 2014.
I plan to get more sources so I can have plenty of evidence by multiple reliable sources.
Your thesis is clear on what you want your main point to be. What do your sources support? What information does it give you? It seems you have plenty of information to support your thesis, just explain what they are used for.
Hi, Serena,
Your working thesis has a clear focus. You do not need “I believe” (it is implied since you are the author). You may rework the wording once you have a better understanding of the topic. Your sources look reliable, but I’m curious about the Junhua source. I look forward to learning more about it. Good start!
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